Halloween Five-Pack Part 4: Who To Avoid

Happy Halloween! For this fourth and final segment of Halloween Five-Packs, here are the houses you should stay away from. They won’t ruin your night, but you’ll be better off avoiding them.

The Riddler
Imagine walking up to Edward Nigma’s house and upon screaming out the customary “trick or treat,” you are met with a riddle. Not only is the man donned in green question marks not answering you, but he’s putting YOU on the spot. You just want some Starburst, not figure out the answer to “what is Batman’s greatest defeat,” as seen in Batman #619. Edward, sir, you should get comfortable hearing trick if you keep up with your antics.

Superior Spider-Man
Yes, you read that right: Superior Spider-Man. Why would going to Doc Ock’s house be a bad idea? If you didn’t know, the guy can be a bit of a jerk. Assuming he’s home, he’ll spout off some nonsense about not having time for such juvenile antics. Again, you just want to show off your costume and get some candy. Being belittled was not on the itinerary.

Guy Gardner
This ornery Lantern will likely engage in some Halloween festivities. But he’s the type of guy to give out all the candy no one wants such as Good & Plenty or some weird peanut butter candy. I’m cringing at the thought. Let’s just hope Oa is in dire trouble today. While he’s saving that planet, he’s saving trick-or-treaters from having to throw out terrible candy.

Madame Web
Oh my, what couldn’t go wrong at Madame Web’s house? Oh, you couldn’t wait to show off your cool costume? Well prepare to be covered in webs. You want some flavored Tootsie Rolls, but you’re going to hear about your future. And the word “bleak” may define it for some of you. You’d best avoid this web of weirdness.

Hulk
Let’s take a look at the reasons to avoid Bruce Banner’s home. First, imagine this uptight guy being interrupted regularly throughout the day. Yeah. He’s too busy trying to figure out when ANOTHER Hulked up character is going to appear. Second, after he doesn’t offer up the expected Halloween sacrifice of tasty treats (and this is Bruce Banner, so you know he won’t), his house will be covered in toilet paper. That’s bound to happen to many people, yes. But we’re talking about the Hulk here. When Bruce sees his front yard looking like the aftermath of a mummy hurricane, he’s going green and I don’t mean in the separation of glass and plastic sort of way. Just keep walking.

Halloween Five-Pack Part 3: The Ruiners

Happy Halloween! In this third segment of Halloween Five-Packs, we’re taking a look at characters who will completely destroy any Halloween fun you were having. You’re wondering how it could get worse if you had your candy stolen in part two. It could get MUCH worse. Read on to find out how.

Judge Dredd
If you couldn’t tell by the chin, Dredd isn’t exactly the fun-loving type. He is the law. You may set out into the streets of Mega-City One in your costume, expecting tons of fun and sweets, but that’s all out the window when you come across Dredd. Of course, I don’t expect trick-or-treating to be a community effort in Mega-City One in the first place. Hey, what’s your costume? Doesn’t matter. Because you just threw a candy wrapper on the ground. You like to litter, huh? One year in the cubes. How’s your Halloween now?

Zatanna
You’re asking yourself “how could Zatanna ruin Halloween?” Mostly out of boredom. She’ll do some cool tricks in the street, but now she has everyone’s attention. This means no more candy for you. And the candy you already have? She’s going to make it disappear. Not to be greedy, but because the art demands it.

Carnage
Cletus Kasady is not the dude you want to come across while trick-or-treating. Or any other time for that matter. Where’d you get your costume? No one cares because you’ve been decapitated. How much candy did you get? Doesn’t matter, you just got impaled on a symbiote tendril. Being ripped to shreds and/or being eaten on Halloween is not a good look. She might also do that just for the fun of it. Either way, your night is over.

Poison Ivy
Dr. Pamela Isley can come from multiple standpoints to throw off your trick-or-treat fun. She might attack you out of anger because of all the kids trampling her plants. “Trick or treat?” If she says “trick,” don’t pull out those eggs. She’ll string you up on a tree. By its branches. Now you’re stuck and other people are running up to steal your candy.

Dreadnoks
You might think the Dreadnoks might be a fun bunch on Halloween. Well you’re right about the fun, except you won’t be having any. This group is going to steal your candy, make fun of your costume and try to tear it off you. Then they might decide to beat you up and probably kill you. Happy Halloween?

Halloween Five-Pack Part 2: The Candy Thieves

Happy Halloween! You should watch out for these characters in part two of the Halloween Five-Packs. I say should, but in the end, they’re still going to get your treats.

Peter Venkman
Pete Venkman’s a guy that can get things done. What’s he going to get done? Removing a chunk of your candy from your possession. It won’t be out of malice. Pete just wants your candy because candy is good. You can try to hide it, but he’s a resourceful guy. He’ll find it. So expect a raid on your secret stash.

Juggernaut
For most of his life, he’s been a bully. He’s been a villain and a hero. He’s traveled around the world. He’s beat up heroes and villains alike and has been beaten. Do you know what he wants right now? Your Reese’s. And he’s going to have them.

Clown
He’s already wearing what could be considered a Halloween costume, so why doesn’t he just go trick-or-treating? Because he’s lazy and wants YOUR candy, that’s why. He’s a nasty, vile demon who’s going to take everything you have. If you resist, he’ll probably turn into Violator and eat you too. You’ve been warned.

Catwoman
Do you really need a reason why Catwoman would steal your candy? Of course not, because she’s a THIEF! Diamonds may be a woman’s best friend, but so is chocolate. I take her for a caramel lover too. And really, who doesn’t like caramel? You can expect her to do it with some style. You might be too focused on the fancy whip trick she just pulled to even care about your candy. But that’ll fade and the sadness will set in.

Quentin Quire
Deep down, Quentin might want to go trick-or-treating. What’s the likelihood he would if no one else would find out? That could potentially hold his interest. But he can do it all without leaving the mansion. He’ll make fun of you for partaking in all the Halloween festivities then wait for you to come back just to steal your candy! He may not even bother using his powers to separate you from your tasty haul. And he might not be alone. It’ll be “Riot At Xavier’s” all over again.

Halloween Five-Pack Part 1: The Trick-or-Treaters

Happy Halloween! Welcome to the first of four fun lists. In this part, here are five characters who are definitely going out for some Halloween fun.

Yorick Brown
Yorick is a fun-loving guy. He might even do some magic to get more candy. Plus he’ll have Ampersand sneak around to steal other people’s candy. If asked about his age, it wouldn’t be far-fetched to think he’d pull a fancy escape.

Deadpool
Don’t act surprised Deadpool made this list. Not only will he go trick-or-treating and have fun, but he’ll have the best costume in the neighborhood. You have to admire his enthusiasm.

Powerpuff Girls
If anyone on this list is expected to head out on Halloween, it’s Bubbles, Blossom and Buttercup. If they see Mojo Jojo trying to take candy from other kids, they’ll beat him up and get back to the fun.

Michelangelo
You better believe Mikey is going. He has the realest looking costume in the city. He might even dance to earn some extra candy. He’ll enjoy it before heading back to order a pizza. Of course he’ll top it with some of that candy. What’d you expect?

Ganke Lee
He’s still a young guy. He likes candy. Yeah, he’s going trick or treating. I’m not sure what costume he’ll wear, but it’ll be memorable.